U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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