New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
