Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
