Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
