My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
