He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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