i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
