KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
