So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
