just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
