I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
