Me too!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
