your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
