Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
