I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
