eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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