Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
