At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
