your room smells of hookers.
And success
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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