So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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