Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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