Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
