Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
