Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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