By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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