my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
