its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
