Nicole vs. Life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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