Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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