It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
