as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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