Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
