that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
