Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
