I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
