i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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