butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
