Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
