I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
