guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
