His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
