Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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