id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
