Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
