I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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