i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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