Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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