that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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