Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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