i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
